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The writer of these documents does a understands how his skills match the reader's needs. In his letter, he shows that he knows what skills he has that might be useful to someone applying for this position. 

The last paragraph has some especially good personal information that demonstrates the writer's work ethic. However, some of the information may be a bit too personal.

Also, his introduction could use some tweaking. It's a bit too enthusiastic, even for someone in marketing.

Mr. White's resume also contains some good information, but it could be more effectively formatted. His brief skills segment might be more impressive if he changed the subheading to "Computer Skills," and then got rid of the more generic skills in this area, the information about excellent writing and communication skills. It's best to show rather than tell these skills. Excellent written communication skills are actively demonstrated in this particular situation through well-written documents.

Also, look at that employment segment. It is unrelieved by white space and difficult to need. Why does he need the word "responsibilities" before listing each job duty when the format makes it obvious that this is what will follow?

The education segment is likewise problematic. He wastes time by listing courses that any student in his major would take. These courses don't make him uniquely qualified for the position.

150 Elissalde
Baton Rouge, LA 70808
Home Phone (225) 555-8169
Email tigrfan@aol.com  

May 4, 1999  

Ms. Jyoti Vora, President
7064 Seigen Lane Suite C
Baton Rouge, LA 70809  

Dear Ms. Vora,

I am writing in response to the ad that you placed with LSU Career Services.  I would like to apply for the position of Assistant Marketing Manager.  I was very excited when I saw the ad because you offer "practical training on the professional level in marketing."  I am also excited about the possibility of earning internship credit.

Currently, I am working as a Marketing and Promotions Coordinator for United States Tobacco Co.  My job duties include planning promotions, arranging new promotion possibilities, on-site manager during promotions, and devising new marketing strategies.  I believe that the marketing skills that I have learned at U.S. Tobacco Co. would be a tremendous help to me in a position such as the one you are trying to fill.

I am a very outgoing and energetic person, and I am involved in many extracurricular activities.  I am a member of Kappa Alpha Order where I hold the office of Ritualist, and a member of College Republicans.  I am also an assistant coach for a local high school football team.  These experiences have helped me learn the speaking and motivational skills that are important to the marketing profession.  I believe that I am a hard working and strong willed person.  I have continuously held a job since I was fourteen years old, sometimes holding two and three at a time, as well as going to school.  I work well with others, and because of the many different types of jobs I have held, I believe that I am a well-rounded individual.  I feel that my skills and my work experience could assist Postal Annex greatly.

If you have any questions about me or my qualifications, or you would like to schedule an interview, Please give me a call at (225) 383-8169.


Will White


Will White
150 Elissalde
Baton Rouge, LA 70808
Home Phone (225) 555-8169
Email tigrfan@aol.com

  A position as an Assistant Marketing Manager

 Louisiana State University
   - Degree in Business Marketing, December 2000
   - Minor Degree in Public Relations, December 2000
   - GPA 3.12/4.0 major
   - Related courses:
  * Business Writing
  * Marketing
  * Public Speaking

EMPLOYMENT (paid 100% of tuition and expenses through continuous employment)
Promotions Coordinator, US Tobacco Co., Baton Rouge, LA March 1997- present
    - Responsibilities:
  * Coordinating event promotions for US Tobacco products
  * On-site manager during events
  * Devising new marketing strategies
 Football Coach, Redemptorist High School, Baton Rouge, LA 1997 season- present
   - Responsibilities:
  * Assistant Defensive Coordinator for Varsity team
  * Defensive Coordinator for freshmen team
Farrier, Tim Medlin's Horse Shoeing, Zachary, La April 1997 - Present
   - Responsibilities:
* Trimming and shoeing horses
  * Forgeing hand made, corrective shoes
 Switchboard Operator, Rabenhorst Funeral Home, Baton Rouge, LA May '96-Sep '97
   - Responsibilities:
  * Answer and direct all incoming calls
  * Filling out and Filing initial Death Reports with the Coroner
  * Setting up appointments with families and funeral directors
  * Assisting families with visitations

  - Proficient in Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, Excel, Access, and Windows 98
  - Excellent speaking and motivational skills

- Member of Kappa Alpha Order
- Youth Legislature most out standing speaker in the house for 2 years

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