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The writer of these documents doesn't work too hard to demonstrate
his qualifications. He merely restates information on his resume rather
than explaining how this information is related to the position he
seeks.
And then the letter has an extremely arrogant tone established in the first sentence, and continued throughout the rest of the document. Also notice the spelling errors. Apparently this person is too busy to proofread. The writer has also failed to adhere to the conventions of standard letter format. He has failed to include the reader's city and state in the inside address, and feels that a personalized salutation is unnecessary. While the writer pays the reader a compliment in the letter's closing (he's impressed with the company), he seems have no idea about this company specifically. This letter fails to demonstrate how the writer's qualifications match the reader's needs. The resume is also problematic too. Since the writer hasn't had any jobs directly related to the position he seeks, he'd be better off doing a skills rather than a functional resume. In a skills resume, he could explain how what he's learned in his courses and his job are related to what the reader is looking for. Instead, the writer just spaced out his coursework to make this document fill an entire page. It seems that the writer didn't put too much thought into generating these documents. They're both quite generic, and so, are less likely to catch the attention of a recruiter looking for uniquely qualified individuals to interview. Baton Rouge, LA 70820 (225) 709-5166 cjames@lsu.edu April 27, 1999 Attn: Office Manager I have supplied you with a copy of my resume because of my interest in acquiring a position with Ernst and Young. The position that I am seeking is a Cooperative Education position in Information Risk Management. After serving the Cooperative Education period and completing my time at Louisiana State University, I would be interested in a permanent position with your company. If I receive a Cooperative Education position, I will be scheduled to graduate from Louisiana State University in the Spring of 2002. I will be receiving a Bachelor of Science degree in Information Systems and Decision Sciences. My current cumulative grade poing average is 3.5 on a 4 point scale. Some of the more advanced classes that I have taken include Statistical Methods and Models I and II, Intermediate Accounting I and II, and Business Writing. I have also received numerous honors including Deans List recognition, membership in the Phi Eta Sigma National Honor Society, and twoo Air Force ROTC scholarships. I would like to once again express my interest in Ernst and Young. I
have looked into many different companies in my search for Cooperative
Education, but I was extremely impressed with your history. I have
talked to people who have delt with you and have heard nothing but the
highest praises. I hope that you would consider meeting with me in
person to discuss the position that I am seeking. If you have any
questions or requests, please contact me. Thank you very much for your
time and consideration. Sincerely, Christopher James
7550 Nicholson Dr. Baton Rouge, LA 70820 (225) 555-5166 cjames@lsu.edu Employment Objective A Co-op position as an Information Risk Management trainee with an opportunity for a job in Information Risk Management following graduation. Education Louisiana State University: Bachelor of Science in Information
Systems and Decision Relevant Classes:
Experience
Honors
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